Mum, don't read this post

I'm forming bad habits in Haiti... eating habits that is!

It's dinner time once again and after a long day at work I cannot be bothered cooking.  Unlike me, I know!  I used to enjoy cooking but now it's too much effort!

I have a great lunch at school; it's a hot lunch (more like the size of dinner!).  I've begun asking for "piti diri souple" (just a little bit of rice please) and today I learned how to say one spoon of rice in Creole; the  "little bit" message was not being understood! :-) The servings are way too generous.  So naturally, after being fed a good lunch which mostly consists of beans and rice, chicken (or another meat), salad and juice, I'm not that hungry in the evening.

To add to the effort of cooking is the cost of food.  Unlike what most people expect, food is not cheap here, that is if you shop at the supermarket.  To buy imported food such as cereal or cheese it costs the same, if not more, than what I'd pay in Australia. Then there's the effort of finding someone to walk with you to the supermarket; I prefer not to travel alone (saying that I don't feel unsafe walking in Haiti, but one always feels safer in numbers).

I've begun buying some foods from street vendors such as avocados and mangoes.  The food is very inexpensive off the street!  You can pick up three avocados for USD $1.25 or five mangoes for the same price!  Bargain!  Mwen renmen mangu e zaboka.  (I love mangoes and avaocados)

Well, it's now 6pm and it's starting to get dark outside.  What should I have for dinner?  Last night it was apple, pretzels with peanut butter and a mango.  Tonight... mmmm... "m" for mango!

Cooking up a storm in Haiti

Well, today was a long day... I'm exhausted!!  Myself and four other colleagues from Quisqueya spent more than 5 hours preparing and then eating more than a few Haitian dishes.  The lovely Milan taught us how to cook.  First she helped us organise our shopping list and took us to the local market.

Then we went back to Tiffany's house to prepare pickliz, potato salad, beans and rice, beef taso, plantain, a marinade for the meat, red Haitian sauce and fresh lime juice!

 We started the morning at 9am and began cooking after 10 o'clock.  After all of our efforts (mostly watching Milan) we ate our lunch at 3pm and then cleaned up.  I enjoyed the quality time with the girls and most of all learning about Haitian family life from Milan. One thing I'm learning here is that relationships are far more important than tasks! People love spending time together.  While I focus on being efficient and task oriented, the Haitians focus on "being" with one another.

As I write this blog entry I can hear thunder and lightning coming from outside my window; it so loud, like I've never heard before!!  We sure did cook up a storm...

Thanks Milan.  I look forward to our next cooking lesson.

The "haves" and the "have nots"

Many of you already know that I’m working at a school consisting of Haitian students from elite families as well as missionaries’ kids. 

It’s been a confronting experience to live in Haiti and experience both wealth and poverty on a daily basis.  I will try to explain though I’m still processing these thoughts and feelings….

Back home in Australia I lived among the middle class.  I could walk down the street without being “different”; I could carry bags of groceries to my car without looking wealthy.  My daily errands were “normal” to most Australians; my possessions were nothing out of the norm for the society I lived in.

Now that I’m in Haiti I feel like I’ve automatically entered a different class through no effort of my own. My material wealth has not changed but I feel like I’ve moved to the upper class.  I’m one of the few who can afford to buy imported food, such as cereal, from the supermarket; I live in a comfortable home as opposed to a tent or in a slum city; I have a maid who cleans my home twice a week and washes my clothes; I have a job, as opposed to the 80% who don’t… and the list goes on. 

Why is this confronting? 

I’m not the type who likes to be noticed.  But here in Haiti I cannot hide! As a white person I am now the minority.  Heads turn wherever my colleagues and I walk; we are “different” from the majority in Haiti; different in physical appearance, cultural background, education and ownership of material possessions.

I am still trying to work through this uncomfortable feeling of having more than most. I’ve been reading an excellent book by Corbett and Fikkert, titled “When helping hurts”. I know that giving handouts of food and money will not satisfy this uncomfortable feeling; nor will it help these people become independent.  The book strongly suggests that handouts are not the solution to alleviating poverty; they often do more harm than good by reinforcing that white people are superior to the “poor” as well as affirming the feelings of shame associated with poverty.

But all this head knowledge is hard to swallow whenever you walk down the street and a child asks you for money or something to eat.  What should my response be?  

I’m not seeking your answers; I don’t believe there is a right formula for each unique situation. But I am seeking God’s answer… He loves these people and I know He wants to restore their lives.

What does it look like to partner with God and His purpose in Haiti?  

A hard day...

School has started.  Today was my third day teaching in 3rd Grade and all 17 students were present.

They have been unusually quiet the first couple of days, but today it seemed they were starting to become comfortable and show their real selves.  I have little to complain about really... but lots to reflect on!!

Why was today different?  Was it the numerous creative lessons I had planned?  Are they used to more structure?

Here's the day in a nutshell....

1. Students arrive at 8am. After taking the roll call and collecting lunch money, we begin with a walking tour of the school.  "Moses" and "Aaron" were our leaders; we were reenacting the Israelites exodus from Egypt to the Promised Land.  We made stops along the way to recount the events that occurred and God's faithfulness to His people.

2. After returning to class I set up the overhead projector for our English lesson and discovered too late, that it wasn't working! The fan was running but not the light.  No drama, teacher's need to be flexible when the unexpected happens.  I was able to continue the lesson without it.  I just don't like keeping the student's waiting and appearing unorganized.

3. After this lesson I was immediately on morning recess duty for the full twenty minutes.  I enjoyed being out in the sunshine watching the children play.  They looked so happy; so free!

4.  Next lesson was Math; our lesson focus was place value. The children enjoyed a competitive game between boys and girls, though it got a bit loud and rowdy.  Afterwards they appeared to be on task with the independent textbook activity.

5. Lunch involves handing out pre-purchased lunch tickets.  Students pay 100 goudes (equal to USD $2.50) for a hot lunch which is most often rice and beans, chicken, fruit and juice. After supervising students in the assembly line I sat down to eat with them for twenty minutes.  (*note: It's been 4 hours since school began and as yet, I haven't had not a minute's break without kids).

6.  The time arrives where I am not responsible for children. I have 20 minutes to myself; not really!!  I have 20 minutes to organize the next lesson which includes setting up a data projector (where do I find that?), finding out that I need an adapter for my Mac and organizing soil for the planting of bean seeds.
You guessed it, 20 minutes was not enough.

7.  I arrive one minute late to class and my students are sitting silently at their desks, each reading a book!  Perfect!!  It was lovely to return to a quiet class, but I still wasn't organized for the next lesson.

8.  The guidance counsellor arrives to introduce herself to the 3rd Graders; I have an extra ten minutes to myself.  Finally, I'm ready to show a powerpoint presentation of how to plant a bean seed; and I'm feeling flustered and disorganized (drat, I forgot about the soil!!  I send some students to collect it from another room).

9.  Powerpoint presentation is over; soil arrives. I hadn't viewed the soil beforehand, another teacher had told me there was a bucket of soil upstairs.  She failed to mention it was dry, crumbly and mixed with rocks.  This soil would not be good enough! Postpone the planting of bean seeds for tomorrow.

10.  Move on to my music lesson.  By now the kids are a little restless and disappointed about not planting their seed (so was I; but I'm not superwoman / superteacher!!  What was I thinking when I was planning today's lessons?)  It's the afternoon and the music lesson goes fairly well; except for the headache that is developing.

11. Kids are dismissed at 3pm and I'm ready to go home.  The past few days I've stayed back til 5pm.  Not today.  I first organize the soil for tomorrow's seed planting lesson (I found some soil around the school yard that is a little better than today's).  I go over my notes for tomorrow; I photocopy a note to send home to parents; I chat to some colleagues and then I leave at 3:55pm.

Tomorrow is Friday!! Bring it on; I have the weekend to chill out... not literally.  It's been 36 degrees celsius everyday; but I like the warm weather :-)

He restores...

Everyone knows the disappointment of having something precious broken.  If you're like me, when something of yours breaks you replay the event in your mind thinking of ways you could've stopped it from happening; you blame yourself for the event and continue to punish yourself with condescending thoughts of how stupid you are!

But this week I've learned to let it go! My broken guitar that is.  I hadn't blogged this event earlier because I had simply accepted that my guitar was ruined in transit from Denver to Fort Lauderdale.  My guitar had made the long voyage across the pacific ocean but couldn't make it in one piece flying across the United States.  Why was I harassing myself about my failure to prevent the event?  Well, the airline crew in Denver asked me if I wanted to loosen the guitar strings before checking it in.  I didn't do this previously but thought it would be a good idea.  Being a novice with the guitar I let the airline staff loosen the strings instead of myself!  I have no idea whether the strings were tightened or loosened.  I'm assuming that the head of the guitar snapped because of too much tension in the strings?  But I may never know.  (sorry too much detail)

Anyway, I've ordered a new guitar and it's on its way to Haiti!  Still the broken guitar got me thinking about spiritual things.  God also doesn't it like it when things are broken. He likes to make things "new"; he fixes what is broken; He restores souls. I thought about painting the word "restore" on the guitar to remind me of this truth.  The broken guitar could remind me of God's purpose for me in Haiti; to restore HOPE to the Haitians.  I've often questioned how I can bring this restoration to Haiti when I myself have things in my heart that need to be restored. Then I remembered that I'm just a tool in God's hand. It is not by my might or power that I can achieve anything, but it it through a life of obedience that God will work through me to restore people's lives; most importantly to restore people in right relationship with Him. God can use anyone who acknowledges their need for Him.

After one night as a decorative artifact the guitar fell on the floor and it's head completely snapped off; I then decided to put it out on the porch with other rubbish that was soon to be thrown in the dumpster at school.  Yesterday one of the guards that watches over our apartment asked me about the broken guitar; if he could have it.  "Sure", I said!  I wish you could have seen the joy and delight in his face upon receiving the guitar.  It touched my heart, I wanted to give him a new guitar not a broken one!

He saw value in what was now trash to me; I thought the guitar was beyond repair yet the guard saw something that was worth restoring!

I'm so glad that God doesn't give up on us no matter how broken we are! Through life experiences we mess up so many times yet his forgiveness and grace is constantly offered to us.  For those who turn to God in repentance He offers a restored soul; a life free from guilt and shame.  My loving God offers a relationship to those who seek Him!  A relationship of unconditional love, forgiveness and faithfulness. 

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he RESTORES my soul...." Psalm 23

Three churches in one Sunday…

It was an interesting Sunday morning.  Miquette and I drove to Quisqueya Chapel at 9:30 to make it to the church service that begins at 9:45.  On the way we (together with five other cars) were included in a routine police check.  The police were checking that our car was registered and that the owner of the car was the driver.  Miquette showed her registration papers (as the registration sticker on the windscreen is not sufficient).  The officer advised that her papers had expired; we continued searching the glove box for the current papers (*Yes, Miquette’s car is registered we just couldn’t find the evidence).  The police officer asked us to park to the side while they checked other cars and said he’d be back with a ticket.  Meanwhile we frantically kept searching and I found the current registration papers!  Yay!  Miquette explained to the officer that we were now late for church.  So we continued on our way.

We arrived in church and everyone was already seated, then they rose to sing “O happy day”.  We joined in.  After five minutes the minister closed the meeting.  Miquette and I were puzzled? She spoke with a friend who sat next to her and was informed that the church now begins at 8:30am over the summer!! We had just caught the end of the service.  Miquette has been the United States for her summer break, hence she didn’t know the new starting time.  We drove  home laughing at the experience; first being stopped by the police officer and then being more than an hour late for church.

Take two…

So we returned back to school (where our apartments are) and decided to attend the English church service on campus.  It was now close to 10:30 and this church had begun at 9:30.  So once again we were very late, but the church members were still singing.  The chapel was full and approximately 40 other members were sitting outside on wooden tables (we joined the outsiders).  We made it in time for the preacher’s message but it was a little difficult to hear him.

Across the road was another church with a very loud, speaker system.  This was a Haitian church. During the entire English message (heard from outdoors) I could simultaneously hear another church message booming loudly in Haitian Creole.  I’m fortunate that I couldn’t understand what was being understood as it would’ve been hard for me to concentrate.  To my surprise the majority of church members in the English speaking service were Haitian.  I’m not sure how they tune out the loud church service across the road?

So there you have it!  I visited three church services in one day.  Next week, I’ll just try one :-)

Highlights from yesterday…

 In short:

1. Moved into my apartment

2. I stubbed my toe

3. I was escorted across the road

4. Began organising my classroom

5. Centipede in the shower

In detail:

 If you observe me for just a day you will find that the life of Kellyanne is similar to watching an American sitcom such as Seinfeld. I don’t create the comedy or laughable moments; they find me! Yesterday was such a day.

It was exciting to move into my apartment across the road from school and begin organising my room (photos to come). It was nice to unpack my clothes and stop living in a suitcase. My apartment is very spacious; my bedroom is larger than my room in Oz and is air conditioned (AC turns off at 9pm).  The apartment also has a second bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, lounge area and dining room. I am in the first of three apartments on the block. The entire boundary of our block is a concrete brick wall, approximately two metres high with a large sliding gate to enter.  This type of boundary / fence is common in Haiti. The apartments are also guarded 24/7 by an armed security officer (I’m not sure how many officers rotate throughout the day?)  Armed guards appear to be the norm here and I don’t feel threatened by their presence. I wonder if they ever encounter any trouble?

Anyway, back to the comedy of yesterday. As I was making my double sized bed, which has a mattress and base and is supported by three wheels and a concrete brick, I stubbed my toe on the concrete brick that is replacing the missing fourth wheel.  Yes, it hurt and it bled a little under the nail; but it’s good this morning! (Are you reading this Skidmore? Add this event to the grazed knee in primary school). I pushed the brick further under the bed to prevent further incidences.

Did I mention the roads are very busy here? There is constant traffic on the local roads, though I estimate the speed of the vehicles to be less than 60km. Anyway, I have to practice crossing the road from my school to the apartment safely.  Have you ever played that game on Atari where you have to cross the road and dodge cars without being hit? That’s kind of what it feels like when crossing the road here. (Don’t worry mum I’m being very cautious and I wait for a break in the traffic before crossing or wait for the traffic to come to a standstill).  Now to the point; after one of the school workers (I must ask for his name again) helped me bring my belongings to the apartment we walked back to school and hence I had to cross the road. He had already crossed the road and afterwards realised that I was still on the other side of the road assessing the traffic. In an instant he walked back over, held my hand and helped me cross the road safely. I felt like a queen being escorted back to the palace!  We, the foreigners, are treated with such respect at the school.  It’s kind of weird having people serve you all the time; and that’s their job! I hope I remain humble about it and never take their service for granted. I’ve come to Haiti to serve yet it’s me who has received a warm welcome and hospitality since I’ve arrived.

I hope this blog entry is an interesting read… I didn’t realise how much I can ramble.

Moving on… My classroom is also quite spacious!  As I entered the room yesterday I rearranged the desks and sorted through some resources in the room. Within half an hour my hands were black!  There is so much dust in the room, even though most things were covered with plastic over the summer.  It’s not the grey fluffy dust that we are used to; but a sandy brown dust.  Haiti reminds me of Malta where people are constantly cleaning as yesterday’s work is once again covered in dirt and dust the next day; blown in by the wind.  I’ll be back in the classroom today to wipe down the dust-covered resources.  Thankfully no rodents have been spotted in my room yet.  I hope to keep it that way!

The weather is consistently hot here!  It’s in the mid 30’s everyday with humidity at 70% or more. I’ve been showering twice a day; but could go for three or four if time permitted. Yesterday evening, after a big day, I got ready for my shower. Inconveniently I was already undressed and the water was running when I spotted a centipede in the shower.  Fortunately I hadn’t stepped in yet. I wrapped a towel around me and Miquette came to the rescue. She has been so gracious to me and I in return have filled her day with laughter. Thank you God for the people you place in my path to be a friend, helper, and insect as well as rodent exterminator!

Lastly, just want to say to the family and friends… Hope you are well; love you all!  x

Thanks for reading.

Road rules in Haiti

1. Drivers, squeeze in wherever you can and beep your horn to push through.

2. Don't give way to pedestrians, they will dodge you.

3. Honk, honk, honk... yes, honk those horns for any reason at all!!  Short, sharp honks... long and loud honks.

Yes, it's this beautiful symphony of horns that wakes me up each morning and continues throughout the day. I'm living beside a very busy street.  This time there are no roosters to wake me up; instead I am woken up daily by the sound of traffic (which includes trucks on a regular street) and the constant honking of horns. Wake up call begins at sunrise around 5:30am.  I continue to drop in and out of sleep til about 7am.  I'm sure I'll appreciate the wake up call once school starts back; I'll need to be at school by 7:15am.

Welcome to Haiti!

I have arrived safely in Haiti and I have a few stories to tell already!

Firstly the flight from Denver to Fort Lauderdale was a little scary. Towards the end of the flight a middle aged woman who was sitting in the opposite isle to me was hunched over and appeared lifeless. Her friends went in a panic and called out for help.  There was a doctor on the flight who came to her aid and the airline crew gave the passenger an oxygen mask. I began praying for the woman and her friends.  I was thankful she recovered.

On the same flight, as we were descending to land and had almost touched down the pilot suddenly accelarated into the air again and continued flying for 1 more minutes with no explanation.  I wanted off this flight!  Too much excitement for one day.  We eventually landed and afterwards I heard the pilot say to another passenger that he lost sight of the runway in the storm. (Not sure how believable that is? All I saw of the storm was some light rain).  Thank you God for a safe landing.

On my connecting flight to Port-au-prince this new adventure started to hit home; it was becoming real. On arrival in Haiti I was picked up by the school driver, Roger, who delivered me to my temporary apartment at the school.  As we drove to the school I saw many tent cities, some made of tarp and others made of iron sheets and wood.  It was then that the 700,000 homeless I'd previously written about became more than a number.  I thought to myself, "do people really live like this God?"  And this isn't my first visit to Haiti.  Why is it that when things are out of sight they are often out of our mind?  Shame on me.

On arrival at the school I was greeted with a huge hug from Miquette.  She works at Quisqueya Christian School and also founded TeacHaiti; the school that many of you donated towards the purchase of school furniture.  I'm staying at her apartment for a few nights until my apartment has been cleaned and is ready to  move in.

As we left the school grounds to get dinner I tripped over the concrete steps in the dark and had a good laugh. Miquette drove me to a lovely restaurant at Hotel Ibolele for dinner which has an awesome night view of the mountainous terrain of Haiti (pictures will follow once my camera arrives in Haiti).

To end the evening I'm typing up my first post in Haiti with my feet raised on the chair.  Why? Because 

thirty minutes ago I turned on the light in my temporary room and a mouse ran behind the bed. AAAGGGHHH!!!  I hate mice regardless of their nationality! Not sure how I will sleep tonight without dreaming of a mouse crawling over me. Miquette was aplogetic about the mouse and I told her we have mice in Australia too!

Lastly I want to say (for my mum) that the place I'm staying at is clean and has running water; despite the visit from a furry friend.  It could be worse, Miquette said to expect to see rats on the school grounds!  GREAT!!!  CAN'T WAIT!! Good news is that they are not in the apartments. Not yet!

If you're sending up a prayer for me, please pray against fear.

Good night x

(Posting this 9 hours later.  I lost internet connection just before I was about to post this last night).