Confession

Tonight I was looking online for educational resources that I could buy using the money that schools are still yet to raise. Yes, I'm believing in faith that I won't go empty handed to Quisqueya (the school I'll be teaching at in Haiti) and TeacHaiti, a new school in Port-au-prince for the poorest of the poor.  I've secretly been hoping that some of the suppliers may even donate resources!!  

As I was gathering a "wish list", and preparing to write an email to some educational suppliers, I began to question my motive. Why was I feeling anxious?  This was not "faith" but fear.  Who am I collecting these resources for?  Of course both the students and teachers in Haiti will benefit regardless of my hidden agenda.

So what's my confession?  I'm afraid of teaching at a school that doesn't have enough teaching and learning resources.  I'm afraid of lacking what "I think, I need".  What if the only resources I'm given to work with is my brain and a classroom full of students?  By now you may be thinking, "What's so wrong about  that?"  It's part of our culture to have things readily available, at our fingertips.  As a carpenter cannot be expected to build without any materials, a teacher cannot be expected to teach well without resources!  Right?

Yes, that's the right thinking for our Western culture but not the right thinking for a Christian.  I should first trust and depend on God to help me with my day-to-day needs, including my need to be satisfied with "a job well done". Maybe what I think I need to teach well, are really just "wants"?

A scripture came to mind immediately after I acknowledged my fear of lack. 

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret, the secret of being content, in ANY and EVERY situation.... whether living in plenty or in want.  I CAN DO EVERYTHING through Him (Christ) who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:12-13 

 (emphasis mine)

The truth is, I don't know what it's like to be in need!!  But I'm certain the Great Teacher will bring this scripture to life for me, if this is an area He wants me to grow in.

I don't really have a say in the matter, do I?