What guides your heart?

Being the reflective person that I am, I've been thinking a lot about "feelings"... I've always been afraid of my feelings and other people's feelings.  Life has taught me that your heart can deceive you; that your heart cannot always be trusted.  Feelings are not constant, some days you are happy and other days you feel sad; feelings can change like the weather.  

Important decisions should not be made impulsively, based on one's feelings. I've always been one to think through things, logically. I've been accused of having no feelings, and of thinking with my head and not my heart. I've seen the consequences of people's decisions when they've followed their feelings and hurt others with their choices.  Sometimes our heart leads us into sin, which hurts God, hurts others and can hurt ourselves.  Growing up with all of these warnings and cautions I've felt afraid of feelings, to the extreme that I didn't want anything to do with my emotions.  I would despise feelings. I would supress my feelings, hopes and desires.

By locking my feelings away I feel that I have missed out on loving others well or experiencing joy in serving God. If God is the Creator of feelings, I don't believe He created them for me to lock them away.  For so long I've thought that feelings were evil.  But I'm learning that it's through feelings we can connect with people and with God.  Yes, I still believe our feelings have the potential to lead us onto wrong paths, that is if we allow our feelings to LEAD our lives.  But if we choose to surrender our hearts to God, to be guided by His truth and His Word, we can be lead to do compassionate things, to serve others before ourselves, etc.  The promise of joy will follow when we love others as Jesus commands.

I'm learning that God created feelings for our enjoyment. But if our heart leads us to disobey God then we should not follow our heart's advice, but rather His truth and wisdom.  It sounds complex and I'm still processing my thoughts about how my "feelings" can be used to bring God glory and honor.

It would be so easy to ignore and neglect God's way, by doing whatever I feel like doing, when I want to... by following every suggestion from my heart.  It might feel good for the moment, but where would it lead? Jesus be Lord of my heart and mind. Continue to lead me by your Word, which is Life and Truth.  Continue to show me your purpose for "feelings".  May I use them to serve you and others well, and not for selfish desires.

It's a question worth thinking about: What guides your heart?

For more thoughts about this topic visit this blog post.

The children I teach...

I haven't really blogged much about teaching in Haiti.  It's what I do the majority of the time!  You must be wondering whether I made it up.

I often read the blogs of other colleagues and they will have endearing comments about their students and their love of teaching...  It's not quite the picture-perfect story for me!  Teaching is hard... it's emotionally, mentally and physically exhausting!  Sometimes I wake up unmotivated to go to school... please don't get the wrong idea, I do enjoy teaching; that is, to a class of students who are respectful and want to learn. There are some beautiful students in my classroom... and then there are some that just tire me out!

I loathe disciplining students or giving them a stern word... of late this has been my story, everyday!  My main frustration is that my students love talking!!  This may be cultural... but probably universal.  Now, I don't expect a quiet classroom all the time, but I do expect respect when I'm talking; I do expect my instructions to be followed the first time, without back-chatting or defiance.  It's not all doom and gloom... I hope my next post is more positive.  Please,  send up a prayer for a tired teacher.

Some of the precious ones I'm talking about....

6 and half hours later...

There are many things you could do in six and a half hours...  can you think of some?

* cook a banquet for 30 guests

* spend the day at the beach

* shop all day at the mall

* teach 3rd Graders

* sew a few outfits 

You get my drift.

Or you could do what I did...

On Friday I chose to sit down for six and half hours, in the beautiful Haitian sun doing absolutely nothing!!   I will let the pictures tell the story.

Joanne arrives at 10:30am with the fake hair.

The fake hair is twisted around the roots of my hair and then braided.

They are not your regular plaits or braids... it looks like the hair has been twirled.

half way...

  

getting a little impatient after sitting for 6 hours...

  

Just after 5pm my hair is finally braided!  I'm told the braids should last 3 - 4 weeks.

  I love having long hair again.

(another pose for you Troy!)

And the cost...

The fake hair was 750 gourdes... Joanne's time cost 750 gourdes...

a total of  USD $37.50.

Good habits...

I like today's devotional... being disciplined is all about having good habits!
To have good thoughts we must feed our mind good things; to have healthy bodies we must consistently feed our body good things and exercise regularly; to have an education we must study regularly; to have good relationships we must communicate often... nothing worth having comes easy!  Good things come from being disciplined and having good habits....
I'm thankful for the friends God has placed in my life both "back home" and in Haiti, who challenge me about having good habits and about being wise.  Most of all I'm challenged by observing the good habits of those around me and the good fruit produced in their lives!  If only that were enough to motivate me to change some of my not-so-disciplined habits...

Here's the devotional:

Your Habits Determine Your Future

Your habits either work for you or against you. Take any habit you practice, multiply it by 365 days, then multiply it by seventy or eighty years and you can write your own obituary. Simply stated: great people have great habits. One billionaire says, 'I arrive at my office at seven a.m. It is a habit.' A best-selling author says, 'I get up at the same time every day. I start writing at eight a.m. and quit at four each afternoon. I do it every day. It is a habit.' Jesus had habits. 'And He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up: and, as His [habit] was, He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day...' (Luke 4:16 KJV) Daniel prayed three times a day. His prayer life was so predictable that his enemies used it to trap him. When measured by the same standard, how is your prayer life?

It's said that if you can do something consistently for twenty-one days you have proven that you can do it for twenty-one years. Will you slip at times? Sure, you're only human. But once you have tasted success it's hard to be satisfied with less. Jesus said, 'If you continue in My Word, then you are truly disciples of Mine.' (John 8:31 NAS) Note the word 'continue'-it's the secret of true greatness. Your success can be found in your daily routine. If you're serious about changing your life you must stop practicing bad habits and start instituting good ones.

Taken from http://www.thewordfortoday.org.au/

Puzzle pieces of Haiti

I have just bought the following puzzle at a silent auction. (click on the link below)

Puzzle of houses in Haiti

Josine Vervloet, a graduate from Quisqueya Christian School, took this photo of a housing development along the side of the mountains in Petiovnille, Haiti.  The photo was made into a 500 piece puzzle and they have been sold through an international organization which has been doing relief work in Haiti.

Josine donated 24 copies of the puzzle to an auction which will fund the building of a home for a family currently living in one of the tent cities.  I am the recipient of one of these puzzles!  I can't wait to put the puzzle together.

Trust... and other things

Yesterday I was teaching my 3rd Graders about forming an opinion and when writing a persuasive essay the writer sounds more convincing when their opinion is supported with facts or examples.

I used our discussion time to find out about Haitian culture.  You might be thinking, what would a 3rd Grader know?  At their young age I know that most of their opinions would be formed by their parents opinions.  So when I asked the question "Do Haitians trust other Haitians?" I am most certain that I received their parents opinions... the response was varied but the majority said "No!"  They had countless examples of Haitians who had cheated them or stole from them.  (Keep in mind that I'm teaching students from the rich population of Haiti)

One open-minded student responded that it depends on the Haitian. I praised her answer, for she was not willing to stereotype all Haitians.

But stereotypes can be helpful in trying to relate to people from a different culture.  It can help me be culturally sensitive. Everyone knows that I love to talk! And I love meeting new people. I find it interesting to listen and learn from others. Some Haitians I've met have been very friendly and warm and I've met others who do not volunteer much information. It has been challenging for me to accept that not everyone wants to answer my questions!  Could this be cultural?  Must I build a relationship first before asking deep questions?

Back home it's quite normal to ask inquisitive questions to someone you first meet.  But I'm not so sure how that translates here?  Does it come across as nosey?

Moving on to persistence...

I'm not sure if this is universal for all children, or if it's another characteristic of Haitian culture.  I'm talking about persistence. Some of the children in my class have been very trying this week. Their persistence often wears me down.  They ask me a question and when my response is "no", they ask me again, or whine "please!"  This makes me more frustrated and my "no!" is said more firmly.  It's not uncommon for them to ask a third time... it drives me up the wall!!

This persistence is also seen on the street... marchons (market vendors) calling for your attention "hey you"... beggars asking for food or money... moto-taxis calling out "blan" to ask if you want a ride (literally translated: white,  meaning foreigner).   Could this persistence stem from their African-slave roots and their need to fight to survive?  I'm not sure... but while their persistence can sometimes be off putting or annoying, if steered in the right direction this resilient and persistent attitude could be what gets Haiti back on it's feet.  These words seem engraved on their soul "never give up!"

Let go of the past...